Safe Spaces Are For Babies

There is a bit of a trend going around as of late, wherein people who are legally adults, but emotionally still children, feel that they are entitled to be protected from any type of speech or ideology that isn’t in line with their own belief systems.  This only happens in a few places.  Fiction stories, that cesspool of rampant idiocy known as Twitter™, and those establishments of higher (ever more debatable by the day) learning known as colleges.  Regardless of where it happens though, it’s generally a sad state of affairs, and needs to cease being catered to by those who are rational enough to know better.  Seriously.  Cut that shit out.

There are examples of this rampant college infantilism all over the news these days.  From Condoleezza Rice being boycotted at Rutgers University over opposition to her involvement in the Iraq war, to Bill Maher being boycotted at U.C. Berkeley over speaking ill of radical Islamic ideology.  A generation is being raised to see nothing wrong with living in an echo chamber, surrounding themselves with clones who think and act exactly as they do, all the while considering anyone with differing ideas to be an opponent in need of silencing.  The second anyone with a differing view comes within range, they instinctively grab the torches and pitchforks and assemble the lynch mob.

The fact of the matter is, the ones who seem to be in need of “safe spaces”, are largely middle class, liberal, white kids.  The very demographic who tends to grow up the most privileged, and seemingly the most sheltered.  The demographic who increasingly live with their parents way later than anybody labelled an adult should, a good deal of whom haven’t even had a legitimate job prior to graduating college.  Given these factors, it seems completely logical that this demographic would be ill-equipped to deal with the adult world, and the conflict of thoughts and ideas that tend to exist within it.

Safe spaces do in fact exist out there.  They are called cribs, and they are for babies.  There will always be somebody to wait on you hand and foot in these “safe spaces”, and you never need to worry about any kind of challenge or adversity.  When something is foreign or scary to you, mommy and daddy will always be right around the corner to make everything better and kiss your boo-boos.  You know what isn’t a “safe space”?  The world as a whole.  The world is a difficult and challenging place, oftentimes requiring you to engage in situations that are new and stressful to you initially.  You grow as a human by meeting challenges head-on and allowing different ideas and views-points to permeate your cranium parts.  Spending the rest of your life hiding under the bed merely ensures that you will never truly progress, and will forever remain an underdeveloped person.

Seriously though.  There are multiple colleges out there that allow “comfort” pets.  In case you aren’t in the know, comfort pets are for highly sheltered kids who can’t deal with the stress of being away from the comforting bosom of mom and dad.  What’s next?  Are these kids going to be able to have their mothers show up to classes with them soon?  Maybe even bring them a sandwich with the crusts cut off, or perhaps even a nice plate of Bagel Bites™.  How about they start wearing their favorite Pokemon feety pajamas and bringing a sippy cup full of Hi-C Ecto Cooler to Calculus class.

Sit down and lemme tell you a story, children.  I remember starting college back in the day and being depressed because I was off in some new environment, living in a claustrophobic, grey, cinder block dormitory.  I didn’t know anybody yet, including my roommate, who hadn’t shown up, and I wondered how college was possibly going to be enjoyable.  I missed the comfort of my former life and was already bummed about how my college experience was turning out.  But sure enough, I made friends, started hitting up parties, and gradually adjusted to campus life.  Would a kitty cat have made this transition easier?  Perhaps.  But it probably would have died, because college kids generally aren’t that responsible, and their parents aren’t going to be around to take care of that cat.

Colleges used to be considered beacons of progressive intellectualism, but nowadays seem to be bastions of regressive group think, which need to be protected at any cost from outside influence.  Many of these campuses have so many rules limiting speech and expression that they make North Korea seem a little less oppressive in comparison.  A group of students at Wesleyan University in Connecticut even tried to have the campus paper defunded until a series of demands were met, much in the manner of a hostage situation.  That doesn’t sound very progressive at all, does it?  One might say it sounds a bit fascist.  The boycotting of opposing ideas is generally the response of the weak minded, who fear engaging in critical thought or having their preconceived notions challenged.

So if you’re reading this, and you’ve been acting out in the manner of one of these Junior Fascists, cut it out.  Free speech means free speech for everyone, not just your entitled little ass.  Great minds are open to new ideas, and are always willing to hear both sides of an argument.  If everybody engaged in group think, and nobody ever went against the grain or questioned the status quo, we’d all be goose stepping and loading people who are “different” onto boxcars headed to terrible destinations.  Human tragedy will always be borne out of falling in line and trying to rid the world of diversity.  So be part of the solution and not part of the problem.  Thank you class of ’15 and have a kool summer.

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