Ever noticed how people’s writing skills have become more “mouth breather-esque” over the last decade or two? No? I haven’t either. Regardless, the purpose of this post is to reimagine what a famous speech from the past would look like if someone without passable English skills had written it. If somebody from the Twitter generation had written Martin Luther King Jr’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech, I think it would go a little something like this:
I got a dream that 1 day this nation is gunna rize up and live out teh tru meening of it’s crede – we hold these truthes to be self evadent that all men R created =.
I got a dream that 1 day on the red hillz of Georgia, the suns of formar slaves and the suns of fomar slave ownerz R gunna be able to sit down 2gether at the tabel of brutherhood.
I got a dream that 1 day even the stait of Misisppi a st8 swelting with the heat of enjustice, sweltering with the heat ov opression will be transformed in2 an oasis of freedum and justise.
I got a dream that my 4 little kidz will 1 day liv in a n8shun were they will not be judged by the color of there skins but by the content ov there character.
I got a dream 2day!
I got a deam that 1 day, down in Alabama with it’s vishush racists, with it’s governer havin his lips drippin with the words ov interposishun and nulificashun, 1 day right their in allabama littel black boyz and balck girls will B abel to joyn hands with little wite boys and wite girls as sisterz and brutherz.
I got a dream 2day!
I got a dream that 1 day evrey valley will B exalted and every hill N mountane shall B made lo the ruff places will B maid plane and the crooked places will B made strait, and the glory of the lord shall B reveeled and all flesh shall see it 2gether.
This iz our hope n this iz the faith that i go back 2 da south with.
With dis faith we will B able 2 hue out ov teh mountane ov despare a stone ov hope. With dis faith we will B able 2 tranzform teh janglin discords ov are nashun in2 a butiful simfony ov brotherhood. With dis faith we will B able 2 work 2gether 2 pray 2gether 2 strugle 2gether 2 go 2 jail 2gether 2 stand up 4 freedumb 2gether noing that we will B free 1 day.
I’m going to stop right there before your eyes start to bleed too much. You get the picture though. If MLK were alive today to give a speech and he picked somebody at random out of the youtube comments section to write it up, this is approximately what the end result would be. Just look at all the numbers in that last sentence. It either looks like a math problem or Prince had a song-titling seizure caught on word processor. Sleep tight knowing that the future looks bright and literate. Katch U L8r!