How’s it going, all you Earthlings? I don’t know if you heard, but recently some dude called Oskar Pernefeldt designed a flag to represent our planet Earth on the Universal field. You know… like if we ever have to face off in the World Cup versus Neptune or something, we’re gonna need a sweet flag for the spectators to wave around. “Go Earth!” To be honest though, I find his flag to be a little uninspired. I mean, he went to design school somewhere, and the flag he designed looks like a line drawing of a Chrysanthemum or something. Take a look for yourself:
Now I didn’t go to a design school or anything, but I do have a lot of spare time and a fancy $40 drawing tablet, so I figured I’d try my hand at coming up with a flag to better represent Earth. Below are my first three designs, but I could probably bust out dozens more since Earth flags is a topic that interests me so much. Hopefully NASA, or the White House or whomever is in charge of flags has a change of heart and decides that my flags are a better choice for representing this fine planet at the 2034 Pluto Olympics. It would make me proud to have my design on all sorts of hats, and sweaters, and beer coozies, and key chains, and mouse pads, and fanny packs, and whatever else an Earth flag might logically show up on. Check em out:
This was my first design. I took the best elements of all the flags on Earth, and added that little something extra to truly make it representative of our planet. I think that if aliens ever saw this flag, they would be impressed with our planet, much in the same way that I’m impressed I was able to think up a design that was this awesome.
Here is my second design. It’s more of an alternate design on the first, rather than a complete reworking of the entire design. I felt that the text was necessary to really drive home that this was the official flag of Earth. If there was a flag with Uranus on it, I highly doubt anyone would know it was Uranus unless the flag specifically said “Planet Uranus” on it somewhere. Otherwise they might just think it was a flag for the Moon or a manhole cover or something like that. I used American for the language on the flag because I’m sure most aliens probably speak American, and not some obscure language like Chinese or Hispanic.
Here is my third and final design. I gotta tell the truth… I really knocked it out of the park with this one. I should seriously get paid for this design, even though I set out to create this flag purely from a humanitarian standpoint. If I was a Saturnian facing off against the Earth in a heated game of Cribbage for the plutonium medal, I’d probably be shitting my alien britches after seeing this bad boy waving majestically in the wind. I think this flag adequately represents everything that is important about the planet we live on. So hopefully whomever is voting on this whole flag business isn’t blind, or a commie, and makes the right choice. The only choice. Thank you for your time.
image sources:
earth – xenosaga.wikia.com
statue of liberty – pdccapitalgroup.com
eagle – pixabay.com
F150 – qualitygear.com
hotdog – lowereastsidekosher.com
jet – servometer.com
explosion – specialeffectsstock.com