I Love My New Prius!

Hey guys!

I’m so psyched!  The newest Prius is out and I can’t wait to buy it!  This will be my third Prius now.  I won’t actually own three simultaneously, but I need to keep buying the newest model in order to save the Earth.  Yea, it allegedly requires a huge amount of energy and resources to built these cars, but I don’t have to buy as much gasoline, so it more than evens out.  I really only use it to go down the street to shop for frozen vegan quiche from Natural Foods™, but I don’t want to take the bus, because then I won’t be helping to save the Earth with my Prius.

It really is a great car.  Automobiles used to scare me, with all the loud noises and moving parts and whatnot, but the Prius is so non-threatening.   It completely doesn’t feel like something potentially dangerous that I probably should be paying attention in while I drive.  Get out of my way pedestrians!  Honk!  Honk!  Am I right?  I don’t have time to pay attention.  I’m too busy saving the planet!  And besides, how can it be dangerous if it’s so cute and quite?

The other day my friend told me that he thinks it would be great if all Priuses were self-driving, and that they all drove straight into the ocean once you got into them.  He’s such an Earth-saver hater.  I think he just needs to eat more organic, natural vegetables and chill out.  At very least, he should go out and buy a Prius so that he can see how awesome they are and experience the magic of instantly becoming a better person.  Anyways… gotta go!  It’s off to the dealership for a trade-in.  Also, check out the latest Prius ad.  It’s kinda weird, but there’s a lot of green in the ad, so that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.  Peace!

Prius Ad

 

Rare Black Metal Promo Shots

Hello there empty nothingness of the internet.  I know that you don’t really care for extreme metal music, or music in general, being that you’re an empty void and all, but I figured I’d share these with you.  You see, when black metal musicians take promo photos, the goal is to look as badass or “kvlt” as possible.  “Kvlt” simply means “cult” or underground, but is spelled as “kvlt” because black metal originated in Rome in 1435.  This is all common knowledge, so I won’t bore you with the details.

Anywhat, I have in my possession some rare early promotional photos by a few such black metal groups.  Nowadays, it’s all the rage to shoot your band pictures in grim places, like a forest in the middle of the Norwegian wilderness, or in a cave, in front of a sleeping Yeti.  But as you’ll see in these early photos, black metal musicians originally shot their promo pictures is decidedly less grim environments.  Feast your sweet little eye globes on these:

Immortal Playground

Here is the band Immortal, posing at a Chuck E. Cheese’s in Boise Idaho in 1991.  Shortly after this photo was taken, the band was removed from the premises for not removing their boots before entering the ball pit.

Immortal Ballpit

Here is another early Immortal promo shot.  This one was taken at Uncle Gizmo’s Fun Zone in Crapsteak, North Dakota.  Later that day Abbath got the 3rd place score on the venue’s Galaga arcade machine, entering “T I T” as his name on the entry screen.

Behemoth Playground

Finally we have a never-before seen publicity shot of Behemoth posing in front of McDonald’s franchise #13,765 in Hambasket, New Mexico.  Originally they were going to pose with a Koala, but on the day of the shoot, all the animal wrangler could book was an extinct Tropical Crow.

 

So there you have it.  I hope this post was informative.  My number one goal with these posts is to educate after all.  A healthy mind is a mind that works good.  Until next time!

Miley’s Gone Too Far This Time

I was fine with Miley Cyrus’s shenanigans at the VMAs, but this time she’s gone too far:

Miley Twerk Obama

I can’t help but feel she was interrupting something important.

Miley Twerk Oprah

I mean seriously… I think this was a little uncalled for.

Miley Twerk Pope

Now she’s being downright sacrilegious.

Miley Syria

And this is why we can’t have nice things.

Miley Monument

No Miley!  Stop it!

Photoshops – David Draiman Edition

HELLO THERE.

I CREATED THESE PHOTOSHOPS FOR YOUR VIEWING ENJOYMENT.  THEY COMBINE TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.  CHARACTERS FROM THE HIT CAPCOM FRANCHISE “MEGAMAN”, AND LEAD SINGER OF HIT ROCK BAND “DISTURBED”, DAVID MICHAEL DRAIMAN.  THE COMMON THEME BETWEEN THE TWO, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY DEDUCE, IS THAT THEY BOTH CONTAIN “MAN” IN THEIR NAMES.  IT’S LIKE THE TWO WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.  EVEN IF THEY WEREN’T MADE FOR EACH OTHER, I MADE THEM CONGEAL INTO MAGICAL CONCOCTIONS NOT UNLIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY AND/OR  3RD GRADE AND HEPATITIS B.  I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM.

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Flameman Draiman

David Flameman

Grenademan Draiman

David Waveman

Waveman Draiman

David Grenademan

Mega Man Draiman

Mini MegaDraiman

Portmanteau(toshops) – Riff Raff Edition

Hello again vacant void of the internet. Ya see, here’s the deal…  I recently obtained photo editing software after a ten plus year hiatus away from the magic of said photo editing software.  Long story short, I was reacquainted with the majesty that is “photoshopping”.  Namely, stuff of an inappropriate or comical nature.  Because honestly, unless I’m getting paid to do so, I’m not going to put that much time and effort into something serious.  Get real, bro.

I also happen to be a fan of the glorious portmanteau.  Not just because they have such a frenchity-french je ne sais quoi about them, but also because they’re hours, if not minutes of fun.  A portmanteau, in case you didn’t know, and are too lazy to actually look something up, is when you blend two existing words together into a new word.  By golly, the title of this post contains one!  I combined portmanteau and photoshop together into a new word.  Frankly it looked like crap, so I added parentheses, and lo and behold, it still looked like crap.  As far as I know though, I invented it, so you’re gonna eat it, and you’re gonna like it.

In this edition, I’m focusing on legendary rappist Riff Raff.  He’s very photogenic and also very photo(shop)genic to boot.  I didn’t just photoshop his head onto a chalupa or something like that though.  The premise is that the images had to be a wordplay on his name.  ‘Cause I takes it to the next level.  Defcon 6.

 

Riff Giraffe

Riff Giraffe

Riff Raphael

Riff Raffael

Riff Raffi

Riff Raffi

Sweet Dreams.