I don’t have a Twitter account. I will most likely never have a twitter account. There are many reasons for this, one of which being that Twitter is retarded and completely pointless. If I ever did have a twitter account (which is highly unlikely), I would probably post the following things:
1) If there’s ever a drug called God, you’re going to have to smoke it or snort it, because you definitely can’t take it in vein.
2) I love when artists say their albums are meant to be listened to on vinyl. Directors never say their movies are meant to be watched on VHS.
3) Quothing? That’s so Raven.
4) Parsley, sage, rosemary, and ain’t nobody got thyme for dat.
5) Whatever happened to skeeting? That seemed to be all the rage a few years ago.
6) After ordering lunch today, I noticed the server’s name was “Tempest”. I figure she used to be either a stripper or an American Gladiator.
7) Is NSFW content safe for work if your job is in the porn industry?
8) In addition to alcohol and caffeine, Four Loko should have also contained a reproductive sterilization agent.
9) Anybody remember when dubstep was a thing? Oh… wait. This is one of my jokes for next year.
10) Why do musicians thank God in their liner notes? Is he gonna buy your CD and get amped when he opens it up at home and sees his name?
#DontForgetThisNonsense #TheEnd