My Vacation Photos.

Hay guys!  I just got back from a vacation to the Congo.  I saw so many great things there.  Luckily I had a camera on me, and took some pictures.  Take a look.  Hope you enjoy them!

Finger Flowers

Look at these flowers!  I think they are endangered or something.  They’re called Sildenafil.  The ancient Romans used to use them to make canoes or something like that.  How cool!

Finger Waterfall

Look at this sweet waterslide!  The tour guide said that the Aborigines built it in 1643 for use as a tourist attraction.  They did a good job, because it attracted me enough to take a photo!  LOL!

Finger Urination

I ran into a native who was on a walkabout.  He appeared to be in a meditative trance.  He was whistling a sweet tune of his home village, and there was a twinkling ethereal sound.  Pretty magical!

Finger Seagull

Look at this crazy bird right here!  Guess he’s some sort of exotic prehistoric Condor or something.  He was striking fear into my heart, but I stood my ground and then he soared off into the sunset.

Finger Windmill

Would you look at this!  I believe it’s some sort of ancient airship building or something.  It landed right next to a bunch of old people and dog poop.  I wonder how many dragons it’s fought?

Finger Groundhog

What on earth is this guy doing?  I think it’s that guy from the Taco Bell commercials, but then he got scared of the airship, and now he’s hiding down in that hole until he can go back to collecting nickels.  ROFLMAO!

Finger Fishtank

Look at all these pretty fish and leaves!  The ocean sure is a beautiful place.  I wish I could live there, but I can’t breathe in the water, and there’s no place to plug my Sega in down there!  Darn it!

Welp, that’s it you guys.  Hope you enjoyed my photos.  Maybe I’ll post more the next time I go on vacation to some exotical location.  Catch you later!

Grading HipHop Lyrics – Drake

Drake Drakinson
Mrs. Wilkinson
Grade 7

F
Started From The Bottom

I done kept it real from the jump
have                         basketball reference?
Living at my mama’s house we’d argue every mornin’
feel free to talk to me about this
Nigga, I was trying to get it on my own
is this referring          get what?
to your mother?

Working all night, traffic on the way home
don’t wait so late to do your homework
And my uncle calling me like “Where ya at?
                                asking         are you
I gave you the keys told ya bring it right back”
                 keys to what?         them
Nigga, I just think it’s funny how it goes
is this referring to               how what goes?
your mother again?

Now I’m on the road, half a million for a show
                        half a million what?
And we…

[Chorus:]
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?            where?
Started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here
                        of what?              a sports reference?   
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?           where exactly?
Started from the bottom now the whole team here, nigga
                        of what?                                  the mother again?
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                        of what?         in your bedroom?
Started from the bottom now the whole team fucking here,
                        of what?                     is having sexual intercourse
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                        of what?              where?
Started from the bottom now the whole team here nigga
                        of what?               do you play soccer?   

[Verse 2:]
Boys tell stories about the man
                                 what man?
Say I never struggled, wasn’t hungry, yeah, I doubt it, nigga
                                           you doubt you weren’t hungry?
I could turn your boy into the man
                whose boy?         what man?
There ain’t really much I hear that’s poppin’ off without us, nigga
        isn’t                                   balloons?          is this referring to a clown?
We just want the credit where it’s due
there will be extra credit on the quiz
I’m a worry about me, give a fuck about you
going to                 I don’t give a darn
Nigga, just as a reminder to myself
you overuse this word
I wear every single chain, even when I’m in the house
             a prison reference?
Cause we…
Because

[Chorus:]
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                        of what?              where?
Started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here
                       of what?                 having sexual relations where?
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?          where are you at?
Started from the bottom now the whole team here, nigga
                        of what?                           is this your cat’s name?

[Bridge:]
No new niggas, nigga we don’t feel that
   a foster mother?
Fuck a fake friend, where you real friends at?
have sexual                   are your
relations with

We don’t like to do too much explaining
                                          on what topic?
Story stays the same I never changed it
what novel?
No new niggas, nigga we don’t feel that
         too many niggas
Fuck a fake friend, where you real friends at?
have adult                   are your
relations with
We don’t like to do too much explaining
                                  about what exactly?
Story stay the same through the money and the fame
by which author?
Cause we…
Because

[Chorus:]
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                        of what?        locations please?
Started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here
                       of what?                 please watch the language
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?        be more specific
Started from the bottom now the whole team here, nigga
                       of what?           a basketball team?
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?           in class?
Started from the bottom now my whole team here, nigga
                       of what?          did they make it to the playoffs?
Started from the bottom now we’re here
                       of what?            too vague
Started from the bottom now the whole team here nigga
                       of what?           whereabouts is your team’s location?

Things I Would Post On Twitter If I Used Twitter #2

I still don’t have a Twitter account, but here are more things I would post if I did that are more funny and/or clever than 99% of what gets posted on Twitter to begin with:

 

1) I saw a Burger King delivery car today. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like the future has arrived.

2) The other day, somebody asked me what I stood for.  I done told em urination.

3) I like to play a game called “Cow giving birth, or Yoko Ono opening her mouth?”

4) If Steve Guttenberg ever opened a restaurant, I’d hope to be able to go in and order a gluten-free Guttenburger.

5) While on a bicycle, speed bumps become taint-detroyers.

6) The best thing about having long hair is people constantly trying to either bum cigarettes off you or sell you weed.

7) I think the Cinderella song “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” is probably about running out of toilet paper.

8) Six years ago, I assaulted a man with a chocolate eclair and was charged with delicious wounding.

9) If I lost a dog, I’d list his name as “Gerald The Zombie Destroyer” on the flier, even if I didn’t really believe he could destroy zombies.

10) I like to play a game called “3rd grade poetry, or lyrics to a hit song from the 50’s”.

#Seriously #WhatsThePoint

Miley’s Gone Too Far This Time

I was fine with Miley Cyrus’s shenanigans at the VMAs, but this time she’s gone too far:

Miley Twerk Obama

I can’t help but feel she was interrupting something important.

Miley Twerk Oprah

I mean seriously… I think this was a little uncalled for.

Miley Twerk Pope

Now she’s being downright sacrilegious.

Miley Syria

And this is why we can’t have nice things.

Miley Monument

No Miley!  Stop it!

Photoshops – David Draiman Edition

HELLO THERE.

I CREATED THESE PHOTOSHOPS FOR YOUR VIEWING ENJOYMENT.  THEY COMBINE TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.  CHARACTERS FROM THE HIT CAPCOM FRANCHISE “MEGAMAN”, AND LEAD SINGER OF HIT ROCK BAND “DISTURBED”, DAVID MICHAEL DRAIMAN.  THE COMMON THEME BETWEEN THE TWO, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY DEDUCE, IS THAT THEY BOTH CONTAIN “MAN” IN THEIR NAMES.  IT’S LIKE THE TWO WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.  EVEN IF THEY WEREN’T MADE FOR EACH OTHER, I MADE THEM CONGEAL INTO MAGICAL CONCOCTIONS NOT UNLIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY AND/OR  3RD GRADE AND HEPATITIS B.  I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM.

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Flameman Draiman

David Flameman

Grenademan Draiman

David Waveman

Waveman Draiman

David Grenademan

Mega Man Draiman

Mini MegaDraiman