Entertaining Spam Comments

Anybody who hasn’t used WordPress might not be aware that it has quite the horrible spam problem.  So much so, that after downloading and installing it, you are prompted to download a spam-filter plugin to make the experience a little more bearable.

I didn’t install an anti-spam plugin right away, because a) I’m a chronic procrastinator, and b) quite frankly, I don’t like software telling me how to live my life.  After my first 4,546 spam comments came rolling in, along with the disappointment of realizing that not a single one of them was legit, I decided to install that plugin.

I still procrastinate on updating my filter to the latest version however, so every six months or so, a few tasty bits of spam still make it into my pending comment box, awaiting approval.

Here are a few I recently received:

“Roxie” wrote: Slam dunkin like Shaquille O’Neal, if he wrote intmroafive articles.

You can tell right off the bat when a comment is spam because the comments are always full of grammatical errors, regardless of how short or simple the comment is.  Literally 100% of them completely mangle up really simple words.  You’d think that a bot creating and littering the internet with comments would have the capacity to perform a basic spellcheck at some point before posting.  Wrong.  Impressive Shaq reference however.  I’ll take that as a compliment, “Roxie”.

“Lucinda” wrote: This shows real exstierpe. Thanks for the answer.

…on a post that was just a picture of me giving a can of chili the middle finger.  I have no idea what that mangled word was supposed to be, but I’ll assume it was something flattering.  I also apparently answered some sort of deep philosophical question they had via a single image, so that’s validating.

Finally, “Cheyanne” wrote: I love that your dining room has a sense of family history, it makes such sense for a space used for family gatherings and cetbiraleons! I definitely need to add some personal touches to our dining room – that seems to be a problem for me throughout our house for some reason. Your dining room looks fab!!

Don’t get me wrong… I appreciate that “Cheyanne” recognizes the work I’ve put into the dining room I don’t even have, but this was left on a post for my video “Punching Evil in the Face”.  Sometimes the spam comments at least relate to the content in the article, but this one was way off.  I appreciate the sentiment however, so your comment is getting approved, “Cheyanne”.  I look forward to future comments from you.