The LAPD Almost Blew Up a Neighborhood

July 4th is here, so be responsible with your fireworks. Definitely don’t almost blow up a neighborhood like the LAPD did a few days ago.

Thank goodness those dangerous Fizzy Spinners™ and Bunghole Blasters™ were taken off the street before they were able to fall into the hands of an ISIS member or something. We can all feel safer knowing the LAPD confiscated those Poopity Poppers™ before they accidentally went off and gave somebody a second degree burn.

Great work out there fellas. Thank goodness we had you there to… wait a minute. What’s this “explosion” you’re talking about here? What did you guys do? Did you guys botch another fireworks confiscation?

So the LAPD blew up their 1 million dollar truck, and took out a bunch of cars, trashcans, and perhaps even a whole-ass tree along with it. 17 people were injured, but luckily there were no deaths.

Here is a before, during, and after shot of this “safe” detonation:

Here is another angle of the before and during:

Here is a post about some of the house damage it caused:

The best part of it all, is that they were just like “Whoops. Not sure what happened”, then continued posting on twitter as if they didn’t blow up a block in some neighborhood.

Hey guys! Fireworks can be dangerous, and can cause serious injuries. Probably not as serious as the 17 people we injured by setting off a semi truck bomb a mere three days ago. Have you guys forgotten we did that yet? No? Well, we’ll just keep pretending it didn’t happen until you do.

Anyways, be careful out there with those Weenie Whistlers™ and Scrote Exploders™. Whatever you do, DO NOT put them all into the back of a truck and attempt to detonate them out in the middle of the street. That is the LAPD’s job.