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Apps For Babies: HeartMob

Do you have a young child, or child-minded adult who just can’t deal with the harsh realities of being criticized for the content they choose to upload into the world?  Does this individual not have the intellectual ability to understand that anything they release into the world is subject to being judged?  Well fret not, because some well-intentioned entrepreneur$ have invented an app that allows the user to avoid growing up and remain a child indefinitely, like a real-life Peter Pan.  Meet your new best friend: HeartMob™.

For anybody who ain’t know (I didn’t until a youtube video used it as a punchline to a joke), HeartMob is an app that “provides real-time support” to individuals of harassment.  In short, it allows the “victim” of harassment to either have a third party report incidents of harassment for them, or to receive supportive messages from some sort of undetermined group of people who are also on the app.  It also allows a third party to go to the accused harassment party and say “Hey guise, that’s not very nice.  Don’t victimize this porcelain doll with your harsh words that aren’t blind praise.  K, thanx!”

This might sound rather harmless on paper, but it is quite problematic for a few reasons that I’ll be more than happy to go over.  First off, this app completely reinforces the harmful view amongst the social-justice crowd that one should never have to be held responsible for one’s own actions, or ever face any type of opposition to anything one chooses to do.  The people who need, have funded, and are going to use this app are people who feel the need to inundate social media with their selfies, ideas, opinions, and creations, yet expect to exist as a special snowflake who is shielded from any type of criticism or feedback that doesn’t fall within their desired expectations.  The problem with this, is that in the real world, if you present something to the masses, you need to be willing to receive any and all feedback that comes along with it.  If you write something and don’t want to receive feedback, then don’t release that writing out into the public.  Everything you create will inevitably be judged on some level by anyone who stumbles across it.

Now granted, when you put something out there, you generally aren’t expecting some jackass to give a vulgar response, completely devoid of any usable critical feedback, but that’s what haters and uneducated people tend to do.  Unless you plan on doing something about the education and hater problem in the world, you’re going to need to learn to disregard stupid comments.  When a musician releases an album, people will write reviews of that album, and not all of those reviews will be positive.  If an artist creates a gallery of their works, there is nothing stopping somebody from referring to their work as “complete and utter shite”.  If a director puts out a movie, somebody might give that flick a one-star rating, or perhaps give it half a thumb down.  Negative criticism is what you need to be prepared to receive if you create something, then put it out there for everybody to take in.

Projects like this also perpetrate the narcissistic view that everything one shits out is worth plastering all over social media for the whole world to see.  Do we really need every insecure person flooding the internet with countless selfies in a vain attempt to receive some form of empty validation that will never actually fill the void that coming to grips with reality provides?  Ultimately, the intoxicating draw of all those thumbs up clicks ensures that the person who craves validation will continue to let their fragile ego hang in the balance of online acceptance.  Nobody posts pictures of themselves because they want to receive an honest opinion.  They post pictures in order to be validated, even if that validation comes in the form of complete insincerity.  Obviously, when somebody who is posting for validation doesn’t receive praise, they get hurt and go on the defense, rather than merely moving on with their life.

This app isn’t a revolutionary, or necessary idea.  It’s merely a response to the further infantilization of a particular demographic who are ill-equipped to handle the realities of life.  It’s not a guaranteed right of an individual to be shielded from criticism or negativity.  If you give your opinion in a public forum, you need to be willing to deal with any and all opposing opinions.  The second I decide to publish this article, absolutely anyone can disagree with it or call me a “doodoo face” and my only course of action as an intelligent person, devoid of entitlement, is to continue on with my life.  I am allowed to have an opinion, so others are obviously allowed to have an opinion as well.  People who feel the need to voice opinions, yet can’t take criticism don’t seem to be able to understand this concept.

This app is a sort of funhouse mirror that projects a flattering image of the user, relieving them of the burden of ever needing to face the reality of what they actually look like.  By being shielded from reality, you never see the truth, and thus never attempt to become the person you actually want to be.  If you only surround yourself with people who lie to you about your looks, opinions, ideas, or art, and never accept any type of criticism, you never learn the truth.  The truth may in fact be that you aren’t a very good writer, have terribly uninformed opinions, or are a narcissist who is a 4 to 5 (out of 10) at best.  Being challenged is what allows you to grow, and either become better at a skill set, or at very least learn to take criticism, if not just ignore “haters” altogether.  Instead of downloading this app, perhaps you should grow up, develop some semblance of self-esteem, and take the initiative to better yourself rather than expecting the world to lie to you and protect you at all times.  I’m out.

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Safe Spaces Are For Babies

There is a bit of a trend going around as of late, wherein people who are legally adults, but emotionally still children, feel that they are entitled to be protected from any type of speech or ideology that isn’t in line with their own belief systems.  This only happens in a few places.  Fiction stories, that cesspool of rampant idiocy known as Twitter™, and those establishments of higher (ever more debatable by the day) learning known as colleges.  Regardless of where it happens though, it’s generally a sad state of affairs, and needs to cease being catered to by those who are rational enough to know better.  Seriously.  Cut that shit out.

There are examples of this rampant college infantilism all over the news these days.  From Condoleezza Rice being boycotted at Rutgers University over opposition to her involvement in the Iraq war, to Bill Maher being boycotted at U.C. Berkeley over speaking ill of radical Islamic ideology.  A generation is being raised to see nothing wrong with living in an echo chamber, surrounding themselves with clones who think and act exactly as they do, all the while considering anyone with differing ideas to be an opponent in need of silencing.  The second anyone with a differing view comes within range, they instinctively grab the torches and pitchforks and assemble the lynch mob.

The fact of the matter is, the ones who seem to be in need of “safe spaces”, are largely middle class, liberal, white kids.  The very demographic who tends to grow up the most privileged, and seemingly the most sheltered.  The demographic who increasingly live with their parents way later than anybody labelled an adult should, a good deal of whom haven’t even had a legitimate job prior to graduating college.  Given these factors, it seems completely logical that this demographic would be ill-equipped to deal with the adult world, and the conflict of thoughts and ideas that tend to exist within it.

Safe spaces do in fact exist out there.  They are called cribs, and they are for babies.  There will always be somebody to wait on you hand and foot in these “safe spaces”, and you never need to worry about any kind of challenge or adversity.  When something is foreign or scary to you, mommy and daddy will always be right around the corner to make everything better and kiss your boo-boos.  You know what isn’t a “safe space”?  The world as a whole.  The world is a difficult and challenging place, oftentimes requiring you to engage in situations that are new and stressful to you initially.  You grow as a human by meeting challenges head-on and allowing different ideas and views-points to permeate your cranium parts.  Spending the rest of your life hiding under the bed merely ensures that you will never truly progress, and will forever remain an underdeveloped person.

Seriously though.  There are multiple colleges out there that allow “comfort” pets.  In case you aren’t in the know, comfort pets are for highly sheltered kids who can’t deal with the stress of being away from the comforting bosom of mom and dad.  What’s next?  Are these kids going to be able to have their mothers show up to classes with them soon?  Maybe even bring them a sandwich with the crusts cut off, or perhaps even a nice plate of Bagel Bites™.  How about they start wearing their favorite Pokemon feety pajamas and bringing a sippy cup full of Hi-C Ecto Cooler to Calculus class.

Sit down and lemme tell you a story, children.  I remember starting college back in the day and being depressed because I was off in some new environment, living in a claustrophobic, grey, cinder block dormitory.  I didn’t know anybody yet, including my roommate, who hadn’t shown up, and I wondered how college was possibly going to be enjoyable.  I missed the comfort of my former life and was already bummed about how my college experience was turning out.  But sure enough, I made friends, started hitting up parties, and gradually adjusted to campus life.  Would a kitty cat have made this transition easier?  Perhaps.  But it probably would have died, because college kids generally aren’t that responsible, and their parents aren’t going to be around to take care of that cat.

Colleges used to be considered beacons of progressive intellectualism, but nowadays seem to be bastions of regressive group think, which need to be protected at any cost from outside influence.  Many of these campuses have so many rules limiting speech and expression that they make North Korea seem a little less oppressive in comparison.  A group of students at Wesleyan University in Connecticut even tried to have the campus paper defunded until a series of demands were met, much in the manner of a hostage situation.  That doesn’t sound very progressive at all, does it?  One might say it sounds a bit fascist.  The boycotting of opposing ideas is generally the response of the weak minded, who fear engaging in critical thought or having their preconceived notions challenged.

So if you’re reading this, and you’ve been acting out in the manner of one of these Junior Fascists, cut it out.  Free speech means free speech for everyone, not just your entitled little ass.  Great minds are open to new ideas, and are always willing to hear both sides of an argument.  If everybody engaged in group think, and nobody ever went against the grain or questioned the status quo, we’d all be goose stepping and loading people who are “different” onto boxcars headed to terrible destinations.  Human tragedy will always be borne out of falling in line and trying to rid the world of diversity.  So be part of the solution and not part of the problem.  Thank you class of ’15 and have a kool summer.